Pissed Off

I’m pissed.

Really pissed.

I don’t understand things sometimes.

Let me start of by saying I’m thankful for everything I have and that I will get.

And then let me say that it’s not fair.

My dad said last night that with the $5,000 he’s giving me for graduation, I could buy a nice car “like Al’s”. (Al’s my little brother.) Now, I don’t see this as fair because my dad bought Al’s car for him, and I’m going to have to spend MY money getting my car, and it’ll be “just as good as” his. Sound fair? Damn straight it’s not. He’s the little brother, I’m the big brother. I get stuff, he waits. It is the order of things. I don’t get the crappy car, he does.

And the other thing I’m pissed about is this: I’m going to be busting my balls next semester to graduation early. Among other things, I’m going to be saving my dad $5,000 in tuition and room & board. So, in effect, he’s only giving me the money he’s saving (that he’s already budgetted for) by me busting my balls. It’s not really a present, more like a bonus.

And it pisses me off. And then I feel like a shmuck cause a lot of other people don’t even have cars or houses or graduation presents. But it would be the same if I was walking a mile to get water for my family so my dad would save on a new well pump, and then he gives me the money he’d pay on a new well pump as a present for my coming of age. Or if my younger brother got the herd of cattle for his dowry, and I got the goats. It’s a matter of principle and it’s pissing me off.

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