I am dull. Though if this isn’t your first visit, you probably already know that.

But I am clinically dull. It’s terminal. I’ll probably be dull for my entire life. I’ve never really done, well, anything. I’m always amazed that people talk about me when I’m not around. I don’t have a social life, outside of the Internet. I’ve never been involved in racy love triangles. Other than my fiance, nobody’s ever been attracted to me, that I know of. Well, I shouldn’t say that. How about this: The only girls who have been attracted to me (other than my fiance) have, frankly, been dogs. Which doesn’t do much for one’s ego. I mean, the reason they like me is because I am of a lower social ranking than they are, i.e. I’m uglier/geekier/less appealing than a barker. Which is very frustrating, because there are so many pretty girls in the world, and none of them are interested in me. (Now, I don’t want to DATE any of them, I just want them to flirt with me, or at least acknowledge my existence.)

But the worst part is; I don’t have any geek skillz. I don’t use Linux, I don’t know Unix. I have no motivation to finish things I start unless there’s a carrot or a stick. About the only thing I can do well is code, but I don’t know any languages well enough to make anything really important. Last week, I went, for the most part, without human contact. Now, you’d think a geek could get a lot done, but I really did almost nothing. Bummer. And racing towards me is my career. And a house. And car payments. And kids… and I don’t feel like I’ve really lived. I feel like I’ve wasted my youth. I mean, I’m 21 years old, and what do I have to show for it. I have one or two real-life friends, no steamy affairs, no road trips, no hobbies, no likes, no great works. Nothing. Well, except for my relationship with my fiance. But, I don’t know… The future is beginning to look like Kansas; flat and featureless. Yay. Autobiography Title: My Life: Two Hundred Blank Pages.

Real Life Update: Went home for the weekend. Worked on my fiance’s mom’s house. And for the first time she wasn’t mad at me when I left. Which, I suppose, is a victory. *toots horn*. Bought a Pop’s day present for my dad. I hope he likes it. Now I’m back at work, getting ready to leave. (Six minutes…) Then it’s home home home, clean clean clean, fsck fsck fsck, clean clean clean, sleep… Again, like Kansas.

I have come to the realization that I was born at the wrong time. I was supposed to be born in 1956. This would put me a the perfect age to do all the cool things in life. For example, I would be able to see Led Zeppelin in concert. I’d also be able to be a complete hippie, and follow the Dead around for a season. I’d have a totally bitchin’ time. I’d be able to grow long hair and a beard and not look like a freak. The only thing I’d miss would be my Macintosh… and the Internet.

Last night I went out by myself for the first time ever. I met some friends at Borders and hung out. I had a pretty good time. Unfortunately, I had to go home early because I had, ugh, work.

For some reason it’s “TALK REALLY LOUD” day at work today. I guess it’s because the surveryors are in the office and they’re used to being hundreds of feet away from each other. And I’m not allowed to touch the volume on my stereo, so the soundtrack for my day is loud male voices, keys and mouse buttons, interspersed with unintelligable bits of rock songs. Fun. w00t! At least tomorrow’s the weekend. And I hope I get to sleep in.

I have to stop staying up late to watch Adult Swim. I’m getting about seven hours of sleep a night and I need more. It’s totally worth it, but I’m consistently late for work and eventually, maybe, someone will say something about it. (Kinda like me doing no actual work all day. hehe.)

I didn’t get much done last night, but s’alright, I’ll get it done tonight. Today feels like a day when I’ll have the motivation. God Itself wants me to get out of bed, It showed me this morning when “Everyday” came on VH1 and made me get out of bed. (That video always makes me cry. I especially like the part when Billy Gates doesn’t want to hug the guy. Completely realistic.)

Anyhoo, today at work will be kinda productive, at least in the latter half. I have an org chart to make, some new bullets, and I have to edit the logo. Again. And soon my supervisor will be getting me more content. w00t! In the meantime, I’m trying to keep my script hand strong by doing research and noodling with HTML. Fun stuff.

Tonight is the night my computer gets wiped. Clean installs make things gooder, or so I hear. But it will be a process that’ll take a little work and time.

And I have no money. Yay for me. $40 to spend between now and 6/13. You know how people worry about the security of online banking. Not me. If anyone got into my bank account, they’d have to deposit money before they could take any out, which would probably be me. Ah, the life of a college student.

I think the worst part about being this close to a real job is the waiting. There are so many things I want to buy, but I don’t have the money. Yet. So all I can do is make lists of things I want, like a GPS unit, an iPod, a Powerbook, a new car, a pair of Agent Smith sunglasses… I guess I’m just being a good little consumer. It’s not that I’m not happy with or thankful for the things that I have now, it’s just that I would like new things because the ones I have are breaking down, and I’ve done all the cool things I can with them.

Hope everyone out there is consuming to your utmost.

Well, the party was a success, I guess since it was the first time I threw up, passed out, and woke up with a hangover. 😀 I’m glad I had a day to recover, cause I don’t know how I’d be at work considering how I felt yesterday.

The little woman and I made up. She said she’s been under a lot of stress, and I told her that she doesn’t need to take it out on me. Then we just held each other. And then we had freaky monkey sex. 😉 Nah, we just made love, which was nice because it was the last night that we’ll be spending in the same bed for about a week.

She’s going home today, so for a week I get to do whatever I want, after work and school. (My IST 440W class starts Thursday in Hazleton.) I supposed I should buy the book, but I don’t have the money, and I won’t until the 13th… I bought beer with it. I mean, a man’s gotta have his priorities. (This is the book that I didn’t buy for all of 321, so I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to make it two weeks without it.)

My sup is coming to work today to talk about what needs done before the rollout. All I really need is to train some people, and get more content. At any rate, I’ll have stuff to do. Finally.

So what’s Paul going to do tonight? Well, Jimmy Page is gonna be on Fresh Air tonight, so I won’t be doing much from six to seven. Maybe I’ll work on my site for that hour. Then I’ll probably watch Trek, clean up a little bit, read, and just generally chill. I think I’ll get to bed early tonight, but I hear that Futurama calling me… (Maybe I’ll start recording Adult Swim for viewage after work. God I need a TiVo.) For dinner: Chicken alfredo. And an Arrogant Bastard. Maybe. If I feel up to it. (Talk about ‘hair of the dog.’)

I think my project for Tuesday will be a wipe and reformat of my hard drives.

Bored again… naturally…

I finished a complete redesign with colors, logos, and formatting in about 45 minutes yesterday. God bless CSS, right. WRONG. I have nothing to do now. Nothing. No content to add, no databases to design, and nobody to train. I can’t do anything until I get more content, and there’s none coming in. The worst part is that I can’t do anything. BBS is too conspicuous, there’s nothing interesting on the ‘net that I can appreciate with people stomping around, staring at my screen, and using the goddamn copier all day, let alone without sound or quicktime, or the fear that an innocent little link might take me to Pr0n-ville. So I sit here, paranoid… jumping at every person who walks by, hoping to God that they don’t catch me posting, surfing, or staring off into space.

My personal life is great. Party this weekend, and my fiance’s gonna buy me a case (yep, 24 bottles) of Arrogant Bastard today!!! WEEEEEE!!!! All I have to do tomorrow is some cleaning, and most of that can be held over until Saturday, and she’s moving out soon, so I’ll have a few evenings free to do more geeky things.

Like backup my HD and reformat it. I was pricing them today and found that I can get a 60 gig for half of what I paid for a 40 gig two years ago. I might want to pick one of those up, but I don’t know how the little woman would feel about spending money on what she sees as “stupid.” Such is the price I pay to be with a non-geek. My first, probably best solution is to copy the files I want to my spare 10 gig drive and reformat the 40 gigger. But that would take at least 6 hours of work, probably more. Just because one partition decided to go squirrelly. (Note to self: Don’t format the drive in Unix…)

As for this evening, we are having dinner, moving the containers currently in our living room upstairs, and going to Borders. Then it’s Friday… Finally. And not just any Friday, its PAYDAY!!!! 🙂 Let’s hope I have something to do. Getting paid for nothing sucks.

Oh well, here’s to hoping your days are more interesting than mine.

Ahhh… four day weekend…

Friday was spent in Harrisburg dodging insults and licking a wounded ego. My fiance decided to drink two whole pots of coffee, and it was mood-swing-city for the whole day. I was planning on mowing my ‘rents’ lawn, but I didn’t get to it. After she left for Wilkes Barre, I stayed up and watched Bill Moyers with my family. I’m such a party animal.

Saturday started off nice. I got to sleep in and spend time with my family, but I didn’t finish the laundry and I had to drive back. For some reason, it was a grave insult to be passed by me, and I had to go 95 in places just to get around people who accelerated as I tried to pass them. But I got my phone 😀

Saturday night we went to her friend’s grad party, which consisted of her family and us two. But We had a lot of fun, playing poker with a 13 year old and laughing at jackass.

Sunday and monday were the same… cleaning, snuggling, relaxing. Two good days, except I was “in trouble” for wanting to go to sleep at midnight (having work at 8AM) instead of staying up for hours having sex. I should learn to just do it, cause I spent hours trying to get comfortable because somebody decided to lay in the middle of the bed and not move because she was pissed off.

Oh well… Today my task is to finish the site redesign and figure out why my games won’t run anymore. I’m downloading some updates as we speak. Hope you survived Memorial Day without me!

Forgot one thing; the car. Doug Baum, of Baum’s Service Center, checked out all those things, but the only problem he could find was a fuel filter that looked like it was original to the car. Whoa. So he replaced it and it seems to be running better. Wanna know the sign of a great mechanic? Here it is: After putting my new inspection sticker on, he put my little turtle mascot back where it was before I arrived. Wow…

No Bebop last night… Oh well…

Hill decided to spend the night with me. Originally, we decided to go to the movies, but then we decided to rent a movie… but we ended up snuggling on the couch watching Enterprise. (Which sucked, BTW.) Then I ended up doing laundry and cleaning whilst she sat in front of the computer, doing something. Woohoo. And, as usual, she decided to get horny just as I was ready to fall asleep. At midnight. When I had to be up at 7 the next day. Ugh.

My new phone should be coming today, if they shipped it on Monday. I hope it doesn’t come tomorrow. The last time something got delivered on a weekend, it ended up outside in a rainstorm.

I’m going home tonight to get my car inspected and worked on. If you have a VW or Audi and you’re in the Harrisburg area, take it to Baum’s Service center. He’s an awesome mechanic with very fair prices. New suspension: $300. Including parts!!! But here’s what I need done: Check fuel pump and filters, verify the timing, check the cruise control sensor, and get some clips to reattach some body trim. In the meantime, I’m gonna be working on my parent’s landscaping, like the good son that I am. (And of course I’m gonna stay up and watch the Bebop. :D)

This weekend, it’s time to get snoggered. You know you’re going somewhere out of the way when the directions say that cell phones don’t work. I can’t wait to get drunk. Unfortunately, I don’t think it will be warm enough to go swimming. (I hope the rest of the summer is like this. I hate being hot.)

I am so bored… I have nothing to do today except wait for it to be over. How wonderful… What’s worse is that I have a lot to do at home, but since the little woman’s going out of town, I’ll be able to do it all. Things like creating a new, better looking logo for my site, and maybe making a blogger template for the front page.

I found out that my PHP book is available at the library, but I’m not sure if it’s open. Maybe I’ll shoot up there tomorrow after work or during my lunch hour. Probably after work. I don’t want to wake up at seven since I’d like to catch Cowboy Bebop tonight. Curse you Cartoon Network for putting it on so late. (I think they should buy me a TiVo.)

My new cell should be coming today. Nothing too austentatious, but it is a flippy phone, which I picked out just for the sheer fun of feeling like I’m on Star Trek. (For you geeks who care about these sorta things, it’s a Motorola v.66.) I was going to get the next model up (v. 60), which has a screen on the flip-lid that shows status and who’s calling, but it would have been $100 more, and, quite frankly, I don’t have that kind of money.

I don’t know what I’ll eat tonight. We’re out of milk, if you can call what was in the fridge last night milk, and the cheese has gone moldy. I was planning on going shopping tonight, but I guess I’ll just make a list of the stuff we need and go on Tuesday. (No sense buying food if nobody’s gonna be around to eat it, right?)

Let’s see what Paul has to do tonight: 1) Make a shopping list, 2) Pack to go home, 3) Make a new logo, 4) TV time!!!

What’s on TV tonight? Well, there’s Star Trek @ 8 (Enterprise or TNG), Good Eats at 9, South Park at 10, Futurama at 11, Family Guy at 11:30, and Cowboy Bebop at 1:30. And I’ll be all alone. (Sitting alone, working on a computer, and watching obscure television shows, including anime. Isn’t that the definition of geek?) Maybe I’ll make up a Futurama drinking game. Every time someone says “Fry,” take a shot. Oh, and I’ve added my geek code to this page. I guess that makes it official.

As for my tire, it cost $74.09 and took about 15 minutes, but the guy couldn’t start my car. At first I thought it was just the fuel pump acting screwy, like it has been for a few weeks. But when I walked into the garage, he had my fuse box dangling from the dashboard. I pushed it up and onto the hooks it’s supposed to sit on, connected my shoulder belt to the buckle, and started the car. The mechanic looked at me like I was a god. It was pretty funny, especially since the first words out of my radio were “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me.”

Guess that’s it for today. Have a good sol.

I just changed my work schedule. Now I get to wake up at 7:00 to do nothing for eight hours, but at least I get an hour for lunch. You’d think I’d love a job where I get $10/hour to do nothing, but it’s hard to enjoy it when I have to keep watching my back.

I’m going home Thursday to get my car inspected. So all day Friday I’ll have no way to get around, and nowhere to go. It’ll be great. I have to call today and make an appointment to have a tire replaced… Blogging is weird.