It goes to the tune of “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” and apologies to The Proclaimers:

We’re the Big 3,
The Big 3 of the Big 3
We’re the three CEOs who farked shiat up for you

But don’t you worry
Because we know we’re gonna be
We’re gonna be the men who grovel up for you

Okay that first time,
Yes, we prob’ly shoulda drove
We shoulda drove the cars we try to sell to you

We’re driving this time
Yeah, you know we’re gonna drive
We’re gonna be the guys who drive a deal for you

But we would fly 500 miles
And we would drive 500 more
Just to be the men who begged for cash
From Congress like a dirty whore

We’ll cut our sal’rys,
Yes, we know we’re gonna be
We’re gonna be the men who sacrificed for you

And when the money
Floods in from taxpayers too
We’ll buy some mansions somewhere nice in Malibu

As for our bonus,
Yeah, we know we’re gonna get
We’re gonna get that cash whatever else we do

When we retire,
Well, we know we’re gonna be
On our estates so very far away from you

But we would fly 500 miles
And we would drive 500 more
Just to be the men who begged for cash
From Congress like a dirty whore

da da da (da da da)
da da da (da da da)
Da Da Da Dun Diddle Un Diddle Un Diddle Uh Da Da

When we cut costs,
Well, you know we’re gonna cut
We’re gonna cut the jobs of lots and lots of you

It’s ironic,
Cuz you know we’re gonna say
We need the cash because we’re “looking out for you”

When we’re bailed out,
Well, you know we’re gonna be
We’re gonna be the men that some will call “astute”

We’re not worried
Cuz you know we’re gonna be
We’re gonna be the men with golden parachutes

We’re gonna be the men with golden parachutes

But we would fly 500 miles
And we would drive 500 more
Just to be the men who begged for cash
From Congress like a dirty whore